I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
