No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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