here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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