Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
