Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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