Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
