The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
