i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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