True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
honey bunches of taint.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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