Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize