She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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