she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Acid is not a monday night drug
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
