I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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