Christians are straight up FREAKS
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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