Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
two words...techno handjob
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
