so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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