My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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