chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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