the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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