Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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