so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
