I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize