I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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