i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
