So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
