Do you still have your period?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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