You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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