I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
