just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
