so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
