It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
