he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
