Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
