those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
