Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
