he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
where are my eyebrows?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Now all my porn is stored in my parentsā basement. Itās like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
