if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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