i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
