Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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