Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
