Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize