Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
