Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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