I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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