You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
