:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
