its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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