Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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