your thong is hanging out like whoa
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
dude. I can hear the air.
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