she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
