Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
