Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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