i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
