i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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