I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
