I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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