No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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