There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
