Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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