yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
