Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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