are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
