so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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