Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
