The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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