Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
