dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
