Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize