all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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