If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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