I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
