I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
