Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i believe in u and ur pee
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