He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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